before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize