Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
