just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
