my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize