Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize