i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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