he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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