dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
