You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
