It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
