I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just invented taco cereal.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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