No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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