just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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