Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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