Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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