i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
