"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
