i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
