took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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