that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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