they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize