We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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