I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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