Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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