And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
