: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
