Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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