it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
not ubering you a puppy
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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