some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Is Oprah even human
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
