I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
