She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize