So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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