Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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