I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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