I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
