Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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