He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I came so hard my ears popped.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
