ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
