it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
