Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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