How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
