you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
