u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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