how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
