I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
