that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
