So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
