I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
