erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
