He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
