four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
