I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
