It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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