Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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