Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
