You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
