Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
